Filed under: And You're a Guy
There Were Once Boys
I never thought you’ll be the ones to bring back the pieces of my broken heart. Just when I thought you were just the boys who grew up with me but never really knew me. Growing up with you is not like growing up with you at all. We spent days and nights together but you seemed distant and aloof whenever you’re around. We never played together. We made you do things you’ll probably hate us for when I let you remember. I can count on my fingers (in one hand) the times I rode the bus or the jeepney with you. I can count the times we attended events together. You always feign indifference when I’m mentioned. I know a handful of your friends but that was it. There was never a bonding so solid that would connect our social lives together… and yet you were there for me. You are protecting me against these people who are not part of your lives but have encroached into mine. Even though you are not so vocal about it, I know you’re there. And the rare times you’re vocal about it are the times I really really appreciate and cherish.
Before, I thought that you didn’t want to be seen with me. Not when we’re walking to the shed, not when we’re riding the bus together, not when we’re watching games… not ever. I’m like the shadow you never want to see in your path. You are always walking behind me, towards the sun so I become the shadow over you. Regardless of where I walk, your shadows seem a few steps behind. There but invisible from my point of view. I know you are watching me closely from afar. Two pairs of eyes rooted on my movements but you let me be. So I guess you wanted to be seen, not with me but behind me.
Unknowingly, you gave me back what I lost. I lost my heart, my confidence, and my self-esteem over some boys and you boys brought it back to me.
Shukran katir brothers.
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