LAUNDRY
Right about now, there’s a curtain in my room waiting to be hanged. It’s of slightly shimmering yellow gold and velvety dark green reminiscent of palaces during the Victorian era. There’s a huge pack of comforter in beige with floral and lace design to be unwrapped. There’s a dozen of clothes unsorted out and a little less than a dozen of hangers cluttered on the closet. There’s a bin half-full of laundry. The washing machine’s dryer needs to be repaired. There’s a tray of face colors mix matched, touched every morning but never returned in their place. There’s a headboard waiting to be decorated with shades and there’s a carpet waiting to be vacuumed. There’s a lot of things going on and more things to do but I am here writing an entry. Laziness is kicking in hard.
I am disappointed that plans forged by the friends didn’t include me. Really disappointed. But then what can I do? As they say it, I was the one who “left.” So considering me on future endeavors is of low priority. I perfectly understand (but I’m still utterly disappointed, have I mentioned that?). After all, this is the time we should all become “practical.” And friendship is a democracy. I listen to them. So I called off a trip and there’s no turning back from here because signing up for it again will be a hopeless endeavor the second time around. So now, I am just hoping that this development will be a blessing in disguise.
I’m amused by comments on my first entry to my new And You’re A Guy category titled “Extraordinary,” which is just before this post. They thought it’s “pag-ibig.” Haha! Sorry to disappoint you, it’s not. Not even close. I am disappointed myself. Haha. But then again, I’m happy to be just an “admirer” of one of my role models. And when I say “role model,” it means someone who has gone through a lot in life. Meaning, he’s probably way older than me. Meaning, there is no way “romantic love” can be inserted in there. Maybe I should be more direct to the point next time. But then again, I like the air of mystery of my entries… of people guessing who he is or if he’s someone I heart. Haha. And I’ll feed your fantasies for a while before shattering them in my next posts by writing that no, it’s not really what you think. Oh well, on to my next entries then!
That, after I do the laundry! Haha. (Whoah! I’m doing my own laundry now?! Haha!)
EXTRAORDINARY
Just an Extraordinary Boy.
Amazing!
That was the only word I can come up with while watching him and listening to the discussion. I was already looking at him with renewed reverence the moment he intercepted a speaker and said the facts, the way it should be stated and shared. I’m surprised he even knew that little detail. And more details which seem so insignificant at first but becomes such important things when considered. My mind was swirling with ideas and questions. How can he memorize everything? All those data and all those specifics, he spoke about them with conviction like he knew them by heart. Oh wait, he really knew them by heart!
Only someone as attentive and as discerning would know every detail. Not just the details, even the knowledge behind the details, he knew them all! I’m awestruck every time he answers a question confidently, without missing a heartbeat! Beside him, I am just particle, a dust waiting to be blown off by this commanding wind. And he’s not even commanding. Not proud and boastful. He’s humble and grateful. He’s even the other meanings of attentive… considerate and polite. That’s what makes me want to run to his side and gush how amazing he is.
COMPARISON
The Destiny of Things.
I go out alright. It’s not like this has been a gigantic prison, though sometimes it still feels like it. The suffocation becomes bearable only when I remember who made the decision. It’s hard blaming one’s self. And when I go out, I see to it that I buy something, not to waste money but to create a moment. Does going to the bakery and buying pandesal momentous? Not really, but now I know where in the neighborhood is the best pandesal. I like the ones from the bakeshop near the fish shop. Their pandesal is hot, soft and buttery. I love their eggpies too. It’s smooth and creamy. Good siopaos belong to the bakery in another district. The soft, white bread enveloping a savory minced chicken filling.
I rode the taxi today. For the first time. Nervous and excited. It wasn’t even taxi “taxi.” More like a hotel taxi because it fetched us from where we were standing. The driver didn’t commission us to add twenty bucks or more to the meter fare. Actually, there wasn’t any meter on his taxi. I didn’t know how much to pay him but my companion did. We shared a little banter with the driver while he’s deciding which road to take to deliver us safe and well on our destination. Not that I didn’t feel his taxi gunning for a red light on the next stop. Considering the roads and its inhabitants, this driver drived safely.
And it was my first time going out “alone.” The first time to feel lost in a surrounding I knew very well, except some things have changed and those changes were churning my stomach and making my heart beat faster. I have to be mindful of my surroundings. Glancing sideways is becoming a habit. Now I could learn some serious streetsmart tips from these people. Well, I am not exactly on the streets but with the way people are looking at me, I could have just been on the same side of the earth.
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30
Revolving Revolting Days.
The day turns into night and the night turns into day.
The usually traffic road to work has been emptied. Only a handful of cars are traversing the long, wide highways. The fifteen-minute ride to work has been shortened to five. I’m enjoying morning rides all the more.
Even the place seems unbelievably silent in the morning. Hallways are spotless. It’s a shame to walk in heels and create a noise that echoes on the empty corridors. The ringing of the telephones starts after ten in the morning. Otherwise, it stays unmoved and silent in the corner of our tables after we arrive. Sometimes, when I use it, the other line just goes on ringing. I replace the receiver down and try after eleven. People are not going anywhere for lunch anyway so I’m sure someone is bound to pick up.
The normal buzz in the cafeteria is humming but slightly softer than the usual. Well, at least it’s open. A part of the place is cordoned off with makeshift walls for the families. There’s little food than the usual, not that the taste differs anyway. They’re still the same ingredients cooked in ways I am not accustomed to. Some are passable still with a hint of a spice I do not know. Some dishes are just weird so I swallow with a little bit of gagging and choking during the first mouhtfuls. While I go on my lunchtime routine of taking nothing but the lunch meal, I feel guilty everytime I bite and swallow. I’m paranoid of being glared at.
Other than the fact that most people are not eating and we’re not allowed to eat anywhere we can be seen by those people who are not eating, the entire day goes on fine.
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CHAINS
What Sets Us Apart Binds Us.
I smile to myself whenever I walk to the new place. And then I smile some more when I see the people get off the bus. Sometimes I even wish my arrival would coincide with the bus’ delivery of workers. I get high seeing different kinds of people. It feels surreal. I don’t know how to act around them so I take the last spot on their line and watch them rush to get to where they’re stationed. I watch them as far as I can and then I turn left and head towards my entrance. Their days will be busy and so will be mine. I’m glad.
I’m lost in the new language. I can only speak my natural and the universal. Sometimes though, it doesn’t really matter what goes out my mouth. My voice is not needed. A smile and a nod already make a day. I offer the state’s salutation, but in a soft voice. I wonder if they ever hear it. I hope they do. If not, then I hope they can see it in my eyes. I’m happy to see them, even if for a while or even if I’ll see them again and again. I’m finally learning the art of communication.
Feeling rather than hearing.
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NOTES
Wow! Friendster blogs have changed. Did they tie up with Wordpress? The themes are the ones I saw on that site. The layout my blog’s using now is the layout of our defunct DietQuote blog.Guess they had some kind of agreement or something.
It’s a good thing I don’t post pictures with my entries here because I might have to abandon this blog the way I did with my Wordpress blog. The html thing proved too hard to handle for me when Wordpress introduced it. Like how do I put a photo on this thing? I couldn’t find the button for inserting photos, which Multiply has. I think that’s easier. (Oo na, tamad na kung tamad!) Is this the “Add Media” button here for?
Anyway, I haven’t been able to post entries for the longest time on this blog because the wifi we were subscribed to has gone kaput. I’m not so sure what happened. I guess they changed their settings without informing us. Hmpft. Oh well. (I’m just stealing wifi from someone now. Hehe, bad!)
Moving on, moving on… Now, I’ll be able to post everything I’ve saved in my docs. Haha. So, I maybe flooding your inboxes for updates. Don’t mind them though. Go ahead and throw those alerts on your recycle bins. Don’t even bother clicking on the links. Though my blog is for public consumption, entries might be too much for you. You’ll probably gag with too much mushiness. Haha!
So, I have my birthday entry in here with some reflections. Then I’ll be updating my “Glimpses of an Old Life in A New Place” category. Sadly, I don’t have anything for the “Destination Cafe” yet. I will have to remember more. I’m writing something for “The Edge of Green” but it’s still in the works. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to publish it so it’s sitting in my drafts folder.
So, that’s it. I’m back in my Friendster blog as long as this unsecured wifi is still open. Teehee. (And as long as this setting gdon’t prove to be too much to handle again!)
