UNSTABLE
These are the days when I feel like hating winter. (Though some of you might be wondering why I love winter when it doesn’t even exist here in the Philippines. My friends from college can answer that without batting an eyelash!)
These days… I feel like walking on ice… ice floors which I think are strong enough to carry my weight but might crack and give in in an instant. Damn these traitors.
—–
Eva sent me this poem… and ramdam ko ‘to! Haha! I’m sharing this with you too.
The New Higher
John Ashberry
You meant more than life to me. I lived through
you not knowing, not knowing I was living.
I learned that you called for me. I came to where
you were living, up a stair. There was no one there.
No one to appreciate me. The legality of it
upset a chair. Many times to celebrate
we were called together and where
we had been there was nothing there,
nothing that is anywhere. We passed obliquely,
leaving no stare. When the sun was done muttering,
in an optimistic way, it was time to leave that there.
Blithely passing in and out of where, blushing shyly
at the tag on the overcoat near the window where
the outside crept away, I put aside the there and now.
Now it was time to stumble
anew,
blacking out when time came in the window.
There was not much of it left.
I laughed and put my hands shyly
across your eyes. Can you see now?
Yes I can see I am only in the where
where the blossoming stream takes off, under your window.
Go presently you said. Go from my window.
I am half in love with your window I cannot undermine
it, I said.
ANNIV
Ipinagdiwang (individually siguro) ng JRN2 Batch 2005 ang unang anibersaryo ng kanilang pagtatapos sa kolehiyo noong ika-13 ng Abril.
Sino nga ba naman ang mag-aakala na isang taon na rin ang nakalipas mula ng umakyat ako sa stage ng PICC kasama ang aking mga (malulufet!) na kamag-aral. Saan na nga ba napunta ang panahon? Parang kailan lang… (cue to sing ‘tatanda at lilipas din ako…’)
Sino na nga ba ako pagkatapos kong grumadweyt? May narating na ba ako? May maipagmamalaki na ba ako sa aking mga propesor? Ang sagot dyan…
WALA PA. ISA PA RIN AKONG NOBODY WITH NOTHING.
At hindi ako nahihiyang magsabi na wala pa akong nararating… pero, nasa biyahe na ako.
Hahaha!
365 days ang isang taon. Mahaba-haba na ring panahon para umasenso. Yan, eh kung nag-aaral ka pa. Aasenso ka matapos ang isang taon kasi aangat ka ng isang antas. Pero kung nasa real and outside world ka na, parang sampung araw lang ang isang taon. Gigising ka nang wala pa ring nangyayari sa buhay mo.
Matapos tanggapin ang aking diploma at medalya mula sa Unibersidad ng Santo Tomas, nagpahinga muna ako. Feeling ko kasi, I really deserved it. Pucha! Ikaw ba naman ang mag-aral ng halos 15 taon! Anim na buwan din akong hindi kumilos. Actually, kumilos naman, pero walang masyadong effort. Andun na yung nagpunta pa ako ng Baguio para lang maghanap ng trabaho… pero syempre, jobhunting kuno lang yon. Vacation lang ang ending ko.
Pero may trabaho na ako ngayon.
Itinuring ko ang lahat ng bagay na ’start from scratch’. Alam ko namang walang silbi ang pagiging consistent honor student at paggraduate ng magna cum laude sa college dahil panibagong pakikipagsapalaran naman ang career world. Hindi na ito pag-aaral. Isa ng bagong mundo na may mga bagong patakaran at mga bagong tao. Hindi ko na kailangan pang patunayan na isa akong honor student. napatunayan ko na yan nung kolehiyo, high school, at elementary. Ngayon, panibagong pagpapatunay na naman ito kung sino ako sa mundo.
Simple lang akong tao. Hindi ko pinangarap na maging sobrang mayaman (mayaman lang) at makilala. Fame and fortune, hindi nga siguro para sa akin yon. Mas importante sakin yung mga taong nakikilala ko. Wala akong balak na mang-apak ng iba para lang sa success ko. Wala rin akong balak makipagplastikan para masabing marami akong kaibigan (na maaari kong hingan ng pabor every now and then). Mas gugustuhin ko pang maging ‘woman behind the scene’.
—–
Anyway, alam kung may kanya-kanya na kaming buhay pero para sa mga katropa ko sa JRN2 Batch 2005… I’m so proud of you! Let’s continue to carve our names in our chosen niches.
I MISS ALL OF YOU! See you all soon!
—–
MY LIFE’S SIMPLE PLEASURES
May mga ibang tao na ang tingin sa akin eh "high maintenance." Ang hirap abutin at hindi mababaw ang kaligayahan. Hindi ko gustong patunayan sa kanila na isa lamang akong simpleng tao dahil kung ginawa ko yon, para ko na ring inamin na high and mighty nga ako.
But then, here’s a list of my life’s simple pleasures… Wala lang, I just want to share it with people who enjoy life’s simple things, which make waking up each day a lot easier.
1. STREET FOOD. Isaw, fishballs, squidballs, japanese corn, mangga (with alamang)… sarap!
2. HOME-COOKED MEALS. My grandfather’s igado, dinuguan, and pancit… to die for!
3. NATURE’S LITTLE WONDERS. Rain on a July / August day. A clear sky over lush rice / tobacco fields in La Union. Lone beaches. Baguio in a cloudy day. Star-studded sky at night. Out-of-town trips.
4. VARIOUS FEELINGS brought about by: An unexpected text message from a crush (uhum!). Stumbling upon an old friend / acquaintance in Friendster. Talking to someone with a good sense of humor. Good conversations over iced / blended coffee. Strolls.
5. CRAFTS AND HOBBIES. Suddenly finding the inspiration to create a craft (scrapbook, jewelry, collage, etc.). Writing poetry or stories or blog posts. Reading a good book (mostly romance and mystery novels). Watching a funny movie.
These and some other simple things usually make my day. See? I’m not so hard to reach after all. I’m just as ordinary as ordinary can get.
I LOVE LIFE. AND I LOVE ITS LITTLE SECRETS.
ERASED
TIME’S UP! ERASE! ERASE! ERASE!
This space is in memory of my
intriguing post about BEING SINGLE… which elicited these kind of
comments from my fans… este, friends pala. Hehe! (their comments also
elicited side comments from me! Gaguhan na lang ‘toh! Haha!)
hindi mo nilagay ang gay theory.. hahahahah
Posted by: Erick | April 5, 2006 03:41 AM
***
Ang tinutukoy niyang "Gay Theory" eh ang paniniwala naming "Men of
today are either gay… or stupid." So si Paolo, natuwa. Kasi hindi
siya stupid. BADING siya! (As if kailangan ko pang i-emphasize yon.)
uuhhh…
so stupid ako??? hehehehehehe… hay naku ja!!! baka naman lesbian ka??
hehehehe… set up kita ng date sa chicks gusto mo? hakhakhakhak…
praning na ko.. ayalam ko na!! punta u gaybar para ma guage mo kung wat
talaga nararamdaman mo!! =P
Posted by: mico | April 6, 2006 05:05 PM
***
Itong si Rock naman, aba! pagalitan daw ba ako. Tinatawag nya akong
feminist. Haha! Ay nako, Rock, magtigil ka! Haha! At syempre, hindi ako
tinantanan nito. Nag-comment pa ng nag-comment:
gaybar ka dyan!! ehehehe…. set up kita ng date gusto mo?
Posted by: mico | April 10, 2006 05:03 PM
ang
yabang!! no wonder wala you bf.. nakakatakot d2 puro feminist..
hehehehe… good thing my baby s not like you. =p invite na lang kita
sa kasal namin para makita mo na not all times ull suffer in a
relationship. u’ll see how happy we both are!! hehehehe… miss my baby
2loy..
Posted by: mico | April 11, 2006 05:10 PM
*** Syempre,
magcocomment din ako. Hindi ko mapapalampas ang pinagsasasabi nito.
Haha! First and foremost, hindi ako naghahanap ng ka-date! Ayoko ngang
mag-suffer ng ilang oras. Imagine hell! Haha! Tapos, aba! Sa blog ko
daw ba magdrama tungkol sa kanyang "baby." Rock, I love weddings! Sige,
imbitahin mo na lang ako sa kasal n’yo. Di ba sabi ko naman, love is
really meant for people. Some people.
writing is really your life…forte mo talaga yan..i love the post girl!
Posted by: mai | April 7, 2006 12:15 AM
***
Thanks Mai! And congrats sa pagpasa sa board. Yihee! FYI: Si Maica
Janina Garcia ang aking BUKAL EIC when we were still in high school. We
both love writing… although nagMed Tech sya and I ended up in
Journalism.
what can i say? tumpak lahat ng sinabi mo ja. baka
nga para kay inang bayan na talaga ako at ikaw ay isang dyosa …unless
may taong sigurado sa sarili nya na kahit sino pa ang makapareha nya
sigurado sya sa sarili nya. Naks!
Posted by: Candice | April 7, 2006 03:31 AM
now
lang ako nag-comment kasi matagal akong di nakapag-friendster e. wag mo
na lang burahin, suggestion lang.. para magising naman sa kashongahan
nila yung mga dapat na tamaan nitong blog mo. Jaja speak for people
like you…though i admit medyo like me rin.hehehe
Posted by: Candice | April 7, 2006 09:05 AM
***
Si Candice ang dahilan ng blog post na iyon. Gusto ko lang ipaliwanag
sa kanya kung bakit nangyari ang kanyang heartbreak nung Saturday (read
the story about Candice’s love problem HERE… and my own version
HERE). My post is not really about helping anyone. Gusto ko lang
ipaliwanag ang sarili ko… although hindi naman talaga kailangan. But
then if it helped anyone outthere, then fine and good. 
hehe… uve said it all… oo nga, i agree, men are stupid.
Posted by: Gene | April 10, 2006 06:38 AM
***
Thanks, Gene! FYI: Gene was my officemate on my first "job." I love her
blog on music she loves and travel she does. Read her HERE.
Anyway, thanks for the comments guys! : )
(Btw, wala pa ring font color! Hmpf!)
