Almost Grasped, But Not Quite

"Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It just means you’ve decided to see life beyond the imperfections. So don’t say you’re happy coz everything ’s alright. Be happy coz everything sucks but you’re doing just fine."
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Anj, Candice and moi bonded last Sunday. How the hell did that happen?! Don’t ask! Haha! Okay, so at 6:00 in the morning (yeah, that’s 6 O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING!), we were already drinking coffee (anj:cappuccino, jaja:cafe latte, candice:brewed coffee) sa Figaro (Baywalk!!!). And while sitting there (thinking what the hell really happened?!), we decided to wait for the eight o’ clock mass at the Malate Church. I hated the fact that I ended up eating what-was-the-name-of-that-pastry-again instead of ham and egg pandesal because it wasn’t avaiLable yet (Heller?! Breakfast!). But never mind the food, the company was great! (wink, wink!) After the mass, we decided to watch a movie in Greenbelt 1. Before that, we bought pairs of shades sa i2i. Candice bought her first pair of shades ever! (As in!) Anyway, so there we were, the first ones to arrive at Greenbelt Cinema 1 to watch Perfect Catch. As in kami yung una talaga sa sinehan! (Mga excited! Haha!) And then a couple of minutes more, nagsidatingan na ang mga lovers. Hahaha! The movie’s cute. I love Drew Barrymore. Period. (At yun lang daw ba ang nasabi! Haha!) Thanks Anj!

NEWBIE SA EDSA.ANG PAKIKIPAGSAPALARAN PART I

oh.my.god. I’m also one of the newest EDSA commuters. (Uhuh, join the club!) And totoo nga, hindi lang sasakit ang ulo mo, masisiraan ka pa ng bait. Mamumura mo na yung driver, yung konduktor, yung mga traffic officers, yung mga pasaway na tao (na hindi nagbabasa: WALANG TAWIRAN, NAKAMAMATAY!!!), yung traffic light (na forever na yatang RED), at yung katabi mo (na ayaw umupo ng maayos!) bago ka makarating sa paroroonan mo. Aaarrgh!!! (Pero in fairness, maraming nakakatuwang mga bagay na mapapansin mo when you’re stuck in EDSA. Anu-ano? Sorry, won’t tell. Experience it yourself.)

THOUGHTS OF A SEMI-INSANE-PESSI-LOST-OC-Figure this out!

And for those looking for nice quotes, here are some (which friends sent to me via text… as if i need a dose of it! Salamat ha! ;)…

"Love may take long but it will always take you to where you belong. Enjoy the journey. No need to hurry coz your heart will know when it’s finally home."

Parang kanta yung first line noh?! Now, where did I hear this line again?!

"Nothing lasts forever. Forever is a lie. The only time that matters is what happens between hello and goodbye"

Have you ever felt being pessimistic toward the word ‘forever’ because people from the past uttered this again and again and you believe them because they sounded so true, so genuine, and so in love and then they shattered that belief with sudden decisions to let go and then you ask yourself ‘where’s the forever in that?!’? Anyway, this quote (up), for me, is one of the best descriptions of what ‘forever’ is. The other is ‘Forever lasts the day you said it.’

"Love never gets tired, only people do. Whenever they get tired, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you anymore. They just wanna rest, and come back to love you even more."

Might be true, might be not. Because sometimes, when people get tired, they rest and then they never come back. tired na nga eh! Why do they have to come back for something which makes them damn tired?! Eh you know naman that some of us are so tamad!

"Always tell someone how you feel. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Oppurtunities are lost in a blink of an eye but regrets can last a lifetime."

I totally believe this quote. But I find it hard to do. Sigh… Okay here goes… I LOVE YOU… ALL! Mwah! Haha!

"Learn to write your hurts on the sand where winds of forgiveness can blow them away. Carve your blessings in a stone so no storm can ever wash it away."

Magpapatayo ako ng resthouse malapit sa beach!

"Minsan, ang puso mo ay nagmamahal sa taong hindi mo naman inaakalang mamahalin mo. Minsan din, ang nilayuan mo na noon ay babalikan mo rin at siyang mamahalin mo habambuhay."

NO COMMENT.

Pero eto ang pinakagusto ko sa lahat: OFTEN, WE LOSE SIGHT OF LIFE’S SIMPLE PLEASURES. REMEMBER, WHEN SOMEONE ANNOYS YOU, IT TAKES 42 MUSCLES TO FROWN BUT ONLY 14 MUSCLES TO EXTEND YOUR ARM AND… PUNCH THE IDIOT!!! (Akala n’yo smile?! No way! Hahaha!)

Ngayon, hindi ko alam kung gusto n’yo pang kunin
ang mga quotes na yan to send to your friends after my ’side comments’.
Haha! But you still can. It’s your choice.

***I will surely be wondering why I posted this stuff one of these days. Hmm?!

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Cause this angel has flown away from me
Leaving me in drunken misery
I should have clipped her wings and made her mine
For all eternity
Now this angel has flown away from me
Thought I had the strength to set her free
Did what I did coz I love her so
Will she ever find her way back home to me.
- Heaven Knows (This Angel Has Flown), ORANGE AND LEMONS

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My new signature from now on:
SHUT UP! You don’t know what I’m going through.

Did you konw taht the hmuan biran can raed wrods no mtater waht odrer the ltetres are in as lnog as the fisrt and lsat lteters are cocrert?

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I HAVE NO INTENTION OF MAKING ANY SENSE IN THIS POST. (Yeah, right.)

This f****** weather is freaking me out. The sunny slash rainy slash sunny slash rainy days are giving me a headache. And for someone who’s not into anything right now, headache comes thrice a day (if not all day). Don’t get me wrong, I so love the rains. So, what the heck, pour down everything you got this season. Don’t you just love the rain? Especially when it gives you the feeling of loneliness and yearning and reminds you of heartwrenching tales from the past (oh my god here we go again) and broken promises (have one I presume)? Cry all you want while the skies piss harder on you. Again, don’t you just love the rain?

Someone in the world awaits you, whether it’s in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love,and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. - Coelho, The Alchemist

I’ve read in some forum that they hate Coelho’s works. Some kind of a redundant,
puzzling,i-don’t-know-what-you’re-talking-about literature they say. I’m no Coelho fanatic but I just love the quotes on his books. The quotes may not be applicable to everyone (heck, they’re not even applicable to me, not yet, that is) but they stir the heart to feel and the brain to ponder. I love this quote. Reminds me of the old grandeur of true love. (Everybody, roll your eyes on me now!)

"The face can speak of a thousand emotions but it can easily mask what the heart truly feels. Don’t be fooled… for the happiest face maybe masking the most hurting heart."

I dunno why but I just want to shout ‘YEAH!’. I just need to cheer for this quote. Go figure.

MASK OF HATRED.DARK THOUGHTS.THE DESIRE TO FORGET SOMEONE.BAD, BAD, BAD! 

I am so aching to tell this person to get out of my life! Just walk away and never come back. I want to give h** the ultimate punishment… no, not death. I can’t afford to get my hands stained with blood. Eew. I’ll just forget h**. "Being forgotten is fate worse than death." (Whoever said this, take a bow.) Now, you might ask, why not tell na lang? Because folks, it’s hard when you have to tell this to someone you’ve known half your life as a BESTFRIEND. Got that?!

Ah, hatred. Enough of that.

CEMETERY OF DREAMS.WALKS AND TALKS.BEGINNINGS AND ENDINGS.FAR AND AWAY.BURYING THE MEMORIES OF SWEET MELANCHOLY.

A cemetery, uh… a memorial park, has been a witness to me and my friends’ life (primarily Grace and Cath) for the past four years. It’s where one of our mentors was laid to rest. And whenever we have the time, we always go there. Not just to visit, but to revisit the past months that we were (physically) absent in each other’s life. It’s funny how one’s end can become another’s beginning.

We talk about anything under the sun (UNDER THE SUN= sweating it out on hot summer days because the umbrella tree near the grave was too young for the grown-ups and UNDER THE SUN= anything and everything). We trek the highlands for that. Okay, I’m exaggerating. It’s not that far and steep. Just shed a few pounds on those long walks. Haha! (Yeah, right!)

They’re so many stories. So little space. I just want to say that they’re memorable. And that’s all the adjective I can think of right now (effect of the endless hours spent on television rather than on books and newspapers?!). I miss those days. (Sigh…)

‘IN A TIME WHEN HOPE WAS LOST, HE GAVE THEM A REASON TO FIGHT.’

Got the chance to see ‘Cinderella Man’ last Monday. Not through a pirated DVD okay so rest the case. Cost me and Candice P130 each (Glorietta 4. Can you imagine the cost of relaxing these days?! Unbelievable! You can’t relax because of the high price of it. Haha!). But this movie, this movie is so great, I don’t regret shedding those bills (and coins). That’s all I can say. I’m not giving you a damn sneak preview. YOU BETTER WATCH IT. (Hint: The sky will not be the only one shedding precious tears. Truly MOVING… Right Candice?!)

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CONGRATULATIONS to the UST Salinggawi Dance Troupe (and the UST Yellow Jackets) for winning this year’s Non-Stop Cheerdance Competition. ROAR 4 MORE! Whatever those sourgraping schools say, you’re still the best. You won the Nestle Non-Stop cheer hands down. Galeng! "CHAMPION KAMI… KAYO?!" Haha! (Sorry, can’t help being bitchy because I’ve read somewhere na ang nagpanalo lang sa USt was their Nestle cheer. If that’s true, so what?! Eh di sana ginalingan n’yo rin ang Nestle cheer n’yo! Hay this people talaga, feeling so great lagi. It’s not always U!)

Many days I’ve spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what’s my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
It’s a long long journey
Till I know where I’m supposed to be

It’s a long long journey
And I don’t know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It’s a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
- ANGELA ZHANG, Journey

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The most painful way of missing someone is the time when all you can think of are the memories you had together coz it will make you wonder, "Will those memories ever happen again?"

Ako ang taong hirap magmove-on. I hold on to everything. Kaya nga marami akong gamit, flooded ang cp inbox ko, mauubos na ang free space sa laptop ko… kasi I don’t throw away and erase anything which reminds me of memories. Happy, sad, painful… basta memories, mahalaga sa akin yon. kaya siguro ngayon pa lang, ipinagdarasal ko na wag akong magkaroon ng amnesia or Alzheimer’s Disease because if there’s one thing I’m so afraid of in this lifetime, yun ay ang makalimot. Ayokong magising isang araw na wala akong maalala.

Pero ang iba, it’s so damn easy for them to forget and move on without looking back. Bakit kaya? May kinatatakutan ba silang balikan?

Masakit malaman na sadya kang kinalimutan ng tao because they don’t want to be reminded of the emotions and memories attached to your presence. Sana sila ang magkaroon ng amnesia. It won’t probably hurt so bad kung isang sakit ang bumura sa’yo sa kanilang alaala kesa naman yung kusa kang kinalimutan so that they can move on with their lives. As if moving on means leaving old friends behind…

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You heard her say ‘Hindi n’yo naman ako matitiis eh.’ And you know for a fact that it’s probably true kahit na you wanted to shout in her face, ‘Malapit nah!!!’ (Especially when she tells you na kaya niyang bayaran ang pamasahe ng isa pa niyang kaibigan just to visit her.)

Sakit di ba? Kaya niyang pagkagastusan ang pamasahe ng iba worth P300+ pero ikaw, ni pamasahe mo na P7.50, hindi man lang niya kusang mabayaran.

Have you ever wondered kung kaibigan nga talaga siya?

It’s been such a long time of pondering but yeah, I think I now want to say,
I AM FED UP. I AM SO TIRED OF YOU.

***

Try to say it’s over
Say the word goodbye
But each time it catches in my throat
Your still here in me
And I can’t set you free
So I hold on to what I wanted most
Maybe someday we’ll be friends forever more

Watching us fade
What can I do
But try to make it through the pain
Now one more day without you
- MIKAILA, Art of Letting Go

"I’ve been wanderin’
the middle of the great UNKNOWN
for three days
and it already feels
like forever…"

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Okay, so wala na naman akong magawa. Can’t sleep just thinking of the year added to my life… happy ba ako o sad? Okay, both. What’s my age na nga ba? I ceased thinking about it. Forever 20 ako. Haha! I always say na ‘aging starts when one forgets’ (read it somewhere)… and I don’t forget. Dyan ako expert.

Sa mga bumati sa akin via friendster messages, emails and text, THANKS! Sobra talagang thoughtful some people noh?!  I appreciate the effort they exerted just to greet me. Sa mga hindi nakaalala, okay lang. ‘Aging starts when one forgets.’ Hahaha! Kiddin’!

***

Mahirap maghanap ng purpose sa buhay at ng kabuluhan ng mundo when one’s caught up in heavy traffic and nearing deadlines. You end up going with the flow of those around you. Everything becomes a routine. Nabubuhay ka na utak na lamang ang ginagamit. You can no longer stop to feel your heart. When every thing is hustling and bustling, you just can’t stop. The only thing you cease to do is… dream.

If the saying ‘life begins at 40′ is true, that’s probably because people stopped living and dreaming at the age of 21.

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"Beware! Don’t always be wishing for what you don’t have. For real life and real living are not related to how rich we are." Luke 12:15